Should I start giving people heads up that I might (unintentionally) act like a perfectly normal human being and be nice to them?
It seems like I have lost every bit of understanding to human behavior and how guys see us girls. And of course in case you’re wondering what the frog is going on, I suggest you read on and know how I was like way, way.. way back. (I’m almost 29 so Whoopie-Freaken-Doo)
Second year in college, I, on my own, following a basic need to fulfill, wore hijab and I couldn’t be happier. I fit the description of a good Muslim girl, and to your surprise, I used to pray regularly, I was a good daughter, I made no mistakes, I was single almost all my college years and life at the time was good, it was peaceful and I felt like I could take on the world. As years passed by, I felt old and out of place so naturally, I tried taking it off but my parents (my mother that is) wouldn’t let me so I was stuck with it and you wouldn’t wanna be stuck with something as important and spiritual as this because it will only make you feel like something is unbelievably wrong, not only with you, but with the world.
I graduated, fell in love, got my heart broken, shifted from one job to the other and I grew up and it felt like I was not growing up on the inside as much as I was growing up on the outside. I took the decision to take it off in 2011 for reasons that I’m not going to bore you with, but let’s just stick to the - I felt old- excuse.
All my life I’ve been the nice girl; the one who would happily give you her lunch money and wouldn’t care if she hadn’t anything to eat. I was the girl who would pick up her friends and drive them wherever they want no matter where that was. I was the girl who would put everybody first. Some might say a push over... long story short, I may have let people walk all over me. I was nice! I thought nice was a good thing. What harm could I possibly gain from being nice!! And boy, little did I know! Being nice for starters can actually get your heart to break more than once (proven to be true),it could hinder your life, It could put you last, it could let guys see you not so much as the way you see yourself or want them to and this is when it really stings.
I went from a girl in hijab, incredibly decent and shy to someone who is obviously not wearing hijab anymore, not really all that nice (I’m totally lying), and more outspoken and vocal about certain aspects of my life like my relationships for example and I don’t mind it AT ALL (and you can suck it if you do). The one thing that I couldn't get rid of was the nice part. I tried to shake it off or outgrow it and I must say that I succeeded at times but I can’t help it, it’s in my makeup and how I am and how I will always be. Guys never seem to understand the very fine line between being nice and being easy. (Well, assholes definitely don’t). Their functioning brain might slightly get it but their other brain, not so much. I’d like to thank 4 special guys (by special I mean jerks) who made me rethink my existence and to what extent I should be nice to guys. Nevertheless, the conclusion was pretty clear; I will forever remain a nice person. It is absolutely your fault if you were to mistake me for someone who is easy. I went under a lot of changes and transitions in my life that I won’t let the one thing that makes me ME to change. I will not alter myself to fit today’s perception of how strong, independent women should be. I will not abide by any rules except my own.I will not care for some jerk respecting me (They're called jerks for a reason, you know). And for guys -the weird horn-dogs of their kind- MAN it sucks to be you!!